DevTopics

If all publicity is good publicity, then Apple is basking in the glow of its hot new gadget, the iPad, which is not only the talk of the tech world, but has also become the favorite butt of jokesters worldwide. 

Following are some of the best jokes about the Apple iPad found online and especially on Twitter.  Warning: Given the subject matter, these jokes are not always tasteful.

The iPad: Protecting your data from embarrassing incidents.  (kathycacace)

Uncomfortable cramping and bloating?  There’s an app for that.  (Attagrrrl)

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It’s holiday time, and hopefully most of you are home enjoying time with your family and loved ones.  But if you’re like me, at some point over the holidays you will escape to your computer for a little diversion.  So to keep you in the holiday spirit, here are some Christmas and Santa Claus-related goodies for computer programmers.

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Many people steal software because they are too stupid to know that it’s wrong, or too dumb to get a job so they can pay for what they are stealing.

Though many pirates will tell you how smart they are because they’re getting stuff for free while the rest of us have to pay.  It does sound smart, I guess, if you can get beyond that whole moral “stealing is bad” thing and the threat of bad karma.

But the stupidest pirate of all is the one that asks the software maker to help them steal their own software.  Dushyant was dim enough to join the CodeSmith forums on the CodeSmith website and ask, “can any one post me the serial key to trick the CodeSmith Professional 5.1.1.8242”.

The CodeSmith moderator answered straight at first: “You will need to contact sales for a key (sales@codesmithtools.com).”

But the stupid pirate asked again.  So the CodeSmith people decided to play with this dolt and responded:  “enter this as the key: CS50P-0NLY4-1D10T-W0ULD-TRYT0-45KU5-TH15Q” which loosely translates as “only an idiot would try to ask us this question.”

You think Dushyant would finally realize he’s been served, but staying true to form, he responded, “The key you provided does not work to as serial key to crack the version.”

Read the thread at CodeSmith.com
Stupid-Is-As-Stupid-Does

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A pizza with radius z and crust height a, has a volume calculated by:

pi*z*z*a

From Stefan Tanase

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We all know that software licenses are a joke.  They’re overly long, full of complex legalese, and completely indemnify the software manufacturer of any responsibility whatsoever.  Software is perhaps the only mainstream business in the world where it’s both expected and accepted that its products are flawed.

So it’s quite refreshing to see a software license that’s short, to-the-point, and brutally honest:

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We’ve discussed before the “21 Laws of Computer Programming.”  Now PC World has come up with “35 Unwritten Laws of Technology.”  Here are some of my favorites:

The likelihood that Windows will automatically install time-sucking critical updates is directly proportional to your need to get your PC started.  — Steve Fox, PC World

Your backup plan is only as good as your last successful restore. — Michael Fisher, ElephantDrive.com via HARO

Fix a computer for a friend or family member, and you’ll be tech support for life. — Danny Allen, PC World

Your laptop’s battery life is inversely proportional to the amount of work you need to get done on a single charge. — Blair Hanley Frank, Macworld

iTunes will crash. That’s it. No, really. — Darren Gladstone, PC World

35 Unwritten Laws of Technology

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Actual conversation at a national computer chain store:

Customer:  Now what does this 512MB of RAM mean on this PC?

Salesman:  Umm… RAM is what slows down your PC.  See, it rams into your processing power, causing slowdowns.  That’s why it’s called RAM.

Customer:  Are you sure?

Salesman:  Who’s the expert here?

From the Page-A-Day® calendar, 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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Last week I purchased a cheeseburger at McDonalds for $1.58.  I handed $2.08 to the young woman behind the counter.  She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while staring blankly at her register.  I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me back two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help.  While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she started crying in frustration.  Why do I tell you this?  Because of the evolution in teaching math in the United States over the past six decades:

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This made me LOL.  I’m using Windows Vista speech recognition because of my cubital tunnel syndrome.  I was dictating an email, spoke the word “bummer,” and Windows Speech typed “Ballmer.”  Do the Microsoft programmers know something we don’t?

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A Michigan couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.  They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of their hectic jobs, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.  So the husband left Michigan and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down to join him the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel.  There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.  However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral.  He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.  The widow decided to check her email for messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, the widow screamed and fainted.  Her son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, then read the computer screen:

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