True story… After Thanksgiving dinner yesterday at the in-laws, I was talking with a nice older woman in her 60s. Eventually the conversation shifted to my favorite subject, computers.
The woman, whom I’ll call “Helen,” told me that she doesn’t own a computer anymore since her “scare.”
“Did your computer get attacked by a virus?” I asked.
“No,” Helen replied. “Back in 1998, I was having trouble with my computer being too slow. So I called the local computer store, and they sent over a young man to fix my PC. He spent about an hour and finally got it running well again.
“But then three weeks later,” Helen continued, “the man was arrested for murder. Police found his wife chopped into pieces and stored in his deep freezer. They also found the bodies of two other people including a homeless man whose identity he stole.”
“OMG!” I replied. “But what does this have to do with you not owning a computer?”
“Well,” Helen replied incredulously, as if the answer was obvious. “I’m not about to take that risk again. I immediately got rid of my computer and haven’t owned one since.”
I swallowed hard and did my best not to burst out laughing. But then I thought about it a moment and realized her logic made perfect sense:
All computer technicians are identity-thieving mass murderers.
Article published on November 25, 2011
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